Monday, September 27, 2010

Published Eavesdropper, Bad Doulas, and Birth Rape

Once again, a comment I was blessed to hear was selected for posting on the prestigious www.myobsaidwhat.com. MOSW is a hilarious and depressing blog for childbirth people to submit hilarious and depressing comments made by other childbirth people. My experience reading this blog usually goes like this:

first post on page: HAHAHA that's awful!
next: haha, oh dear, still awful
next: furrowed eyebrows, why are you like this?
next: sobbing, WHY DEAR GOD WHY?

I'm only giving you one to read, my submission. I give an elaboration of the situation in the comments section.

Thankfully, the mom took this comment in stride and laughed along with her OB. Part of me was glad to see that it didn't bother her. But another part of me wasn't. This kind of reaction, which I've seen a lot, reminds me of an argument that anthropologists Wendy Simonds, Barbara Katz Rothman, and Bari Meltzer Norman make in Laboring On. She wonders if doulas are actually making the politics of birth worse. Doulas often help women come to terms with this kind of treatment so that they retain a positive birth memory. But by doing so, are we wooing them into complacency? Preventing them from realizing the righteous anger that could encourage change and improve birth?

Someone made this comment on the post, explaining that the situation could be defined as "inappropriate vulgar language in intimate examination by a larger, stronger physical power over me."

While extreme, that definition is techically accurate. Which brings us to the controversial discussion of "birth rape" (my two cents on the topic: it exists).

In this particular birth, I didn't feel the need to talk about the comment her OB made at the postpartum visit, to see how she felt about it or encourage her to write a complaint. I just didn't think it affected her to the extent that she might need such kind of healing.

Instead, I'm warning everyone against this doctor. Is that good enough for the anthropologists?
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